Blah. Yucky day, yucky surroundings, yucky me. Here it is Sunday- the light of the week, and
instead of being dressed in my Sunday best at the Lord’s house listening to
words of truth being spoken in a house of believers, here I am sitting alone in
sweats in my messy house with goop on my peeling face. Even the pool is in on it. Instead of listening to songs being sung by
God’s people, I am listening to the pool filter labor an unpleasant, cyclic
snore. Let me back up a little…
The past year has been a mixed bag for me. On the bright side, my practice and family
are doing well. No major problems in any
way, really. Despite the world economy,
EAPD continues to grow and thrive. I
finished up my stint on the ADA’s New Dentist Committee- very rewarding both
professionally and personally. The kids are healthy, grades are good, we
traveled a lot as a family and I would like to say that we are closer and
stronger as a family as a result. All
good things, right? Absolutely. All the
great blessing that we pray for- health, finances, relationships- all
good. God is good. Yet with all those blessings, I find myself
in my yucky little “place.” Here is how
it happened…
It may come as no
surprise, but I have this innate need to be busy. Time sitting still is time wasted,
right? I could do a million different
things in those precious moments thrown away while resting. Never just watch a television show- you
should fold clothes while watching. Do
not sit on the porch and enjoy a phone call- save that for when you are forced
to sit, you know, like when you are driving.
ALWAYS kill 2 birds with one stone.
Maximize time-efficiency.
Multitasking is my middle name.
While it seems that maybe this eccentric trait is positive
(after all, we all want to be as productive as possible, right?), what I have
found this year is that I am wearing my own self out. God has indeed blessed me richly, and in my gratitude
of these things, I felt as though I needed to show my appreciation by moving
forth in boldness with even more “projects” for His glory. Expand my business
to help more of the less fortunate. Do
more for others. Teach more. Lead more.
Organize more activities. All
good and worthwhile projects! But in the
process, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me…
“I loved you even before you did all these things.”
Wow. I am Martha. But
if you recall in the story, while Martha was doing a really great job of
preparing her home for the disciples (she was probably dusting off her best
china and sterling, was ironing out the nice linen napkins that were only for
“show” and had filet mignon rubbed and ready to go on the grill. I can only imagine the tablescapes. Probably straight out of Southern Galilean
Living), it was Mary who got the praise because she simply rested at Jesus’
feet. Rest. What a novel idea.
My type-A ambitious self has a hard time with that. I wish I could say that when I heard these
words from the Holy Spirit that I turned and changed my actions. But I struggle. Daily.
And that is what got me to where I am on this aptly dreary Sunday morning.
As I work myself into project-oblivion, I have noticed that my once clear,
elastic skin is looking a bit, well, old.
I must confess that the gray hairs are more frequent as well, and after
looking back at some pictures of me when the kids were very young, I was
startled at what has happened to me in these past few years. In my head I know that age is inevitable (and
certainly better than the alternative), it is still somehow shocking to realize
that it is happening to ME. So I did
what seemed the most logical- I went to the spa seeking something to MAKE IT
STOP. The result- chemical peel. What seemed like a good idea at the time has
given me peeling lizard skin which I have to keep greased down to keep away the
sensation that jellyfish tentacles have been rubbed into my face. I decided to remain home in my peeliness,
lest I scare the entire youth Sunday School department by showing them the
brutal reality of what they, too, will one day be facing if God blesses them
with life into the middle-aged years.
Funny how in my scrambling to correct some of the physical
manifestations of the stress that I created through my ambitious nature, where
do I end up? Home. Resting.
Sitting at Jesus’ feet, soaking in His word in my messy yet quiet
house. The Martha in me wants to clean
up the clutter of the Christmas wrapping paper and go outside and figure out
what is making my pool filter make that snoring sound and then start on lunch
for my family and then maybe make a pound cake to give away to a friend, and
wow there is a lot of laundry that needs folding, and then if there is time
left, I will definitely sit down and have a quiet time. That is, if my eyes will stay open before
falling asleep.
But this Christmas season (and beyond), it is my intention
to rest more. Plan and do less. I sense God telling me to simply have a
season of rest. He doesn’t need me to
thank him by doing or giving more. All
the earth is His anyway. I think He just
wants me to for once sit still and enjoy the blessings that he has already
given me. He wants me to sit and enjoy
HIM. That is what grace is- we do not have to earn His love. He loved us before we even thought about
loving Him back. And because of that
amazing love, I have freedom. Freedom
from even my own crazy works-nature.
I hope that you also have the blessing of rest this
season. I know for many friends, 2012
has been a season of trials. Many have
had health problems. Many have lost
dearly loved ones. Many have experienced
financial hardship. Relational problems.
Divorce. The list goes on. We are not immune to hardship. But no matter if the problems are
self-inflicted like mine or simply what life throws at you, take comfort in
these words:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and
burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take
my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and
you will find rest for your souls. 30 For
my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
Rest.
Sounds glorious, doesn’t it? This
is my prayer for you. In the middle of
this crazy world, let Him take the burdens, and find rest for your soul.
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
and may 2013 be a season of rest, peace, and joy for you all.
Love,
Keri
